A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

Matthew Gellners’ Blog

 

wasp-nest

Two weeks ago, strange events started to occur. The day started out like any other day, with the exception of the appearance of a wasp nest.  Upon waking up promptly at the crack of noon, meandering outside to see an angry wasp guarding its nest.  The next sequence of events, to my disbelief, started a chain reaction of mishaps that only now seem to be letting up. Nothing was done about the nest, nor was the nest considered dangerous simply a part of Georgia nature. Leaving at a leisurely pace for a doctors’ appointment with my sister, we went to lunch after my appointment, but on my arrival home my mother face and neck were swollen and distorted looking. Apparently, the angry wasp entered the kitchen and stung my mother in her jaw area.   Unbeknownst to all, including, my mother, she is apparently allergic to wasp stings. This was the start of a crazy series of events.   Stay tuned to see what happens next.

(Blog Post Two)

Deciding to take my mother to the emergency room, which seemed like a good idea at the time, my sister, who was guiding my mother down the stairs, fell of the steps, landing on her back proceeded to start screaming like a banshee.  Apparently, the unproductive screaming was to make it clear to everyone that she broke her ankle, but that isn’t the worst of the situation.  While driving to the emergency room, with my swollen mother and my screaming sister, the car broke down at a four way stop sign, in a busy area in route to the hospital.  We had to call an ambulance to drive the two, one mile down the road to the emergency room. Meanwhile, the car that had stalled required eight soldiers to push it out of the way.  Wait till you hear what happened after the emergency room.

(Blog Post Three)

Funny Armadillo_2

After I arrived home from the hospital, I immediately noticed something was wrong with the house, because the side door was opened. I just figured with all the drama that we forget to close and lock it properly. So, I entered the opened door, and immediately saw an armadillo running around inside the house, at the time that was all I noticed.  An armadillo running in the house, after what had transpired earlier, seem to make sense. While chasing the armadillo and attempting to get it out of the house. I started hearing a buzzing sound, and didn’t think anything of it, at the time. After I finally got the armadillo out the door I saw my mother sprinting out the door screaming she was being followed by the enormous wasp. We unknowingly left it in the house earlier that day. As it flew by, it appeared as if a swarm was still in the house. I figured the smart thing to do was to leave the house and shut the door. It was by unanimous decision to allow the swarm to take over the house.  With the house secured and the doors shut, with the rest of us outside. What do you think happened next? The way things were going it was without surprise to see my sister being chased by the armadillo, who was apparently aggressive.

(Blog Post Four)

The armadillo versus my sister, the amazing chase was on. While we were searching for a way to secure the house, we forgot about my sister, who is currently on crouches because believe it or not, she really did break her ankle. When we were attempting to logically, given the circumstances, to evaluate the house situation, we heard the banshee screaming once again. What could possibly happen now? Surprisingly enough, after running to the sound, we discovered that the armadillo that was previously chased from the house, was currently hot pursuit of my sister. Although it was a slow pursuit given that she was on crouches and the armadillo really doesn’t move that fast.  I wasn’t sure whether to fear for my sister or the poor armadillo. I decided to save the armadillo by chasing it to safety away from my sister and her swinging crutches and manic screams.  The day isn’t over yet, after I chased the armadillo off you will never believe what transpired next.

(Blog Post Five)

bird and snake

A black snake was laying in the yard, with birds pecking at it, in a dive-bomb method from the tree. The snake was alive and started slithering around, which even though it was not venomous, still created havoc and mayhem amongst all of us. Until, my older brother arrived on the scene and captured the snake and placed it in a white Lowes bucket.  My brother, having been absent for most of the day and the series of horrific and unreal events, stood there, looking at us like we were escapees from an insane asylum. Between my mothers distorted and swollen face, my sister’s broke ankle, the armadillo, the still secured house with the wasps trapped inside, the day was a prime example of the twilight zone.  My brother stepped in to save the day, by removing the snake (he is a big reptile lover), relieving the house of wasps, and taking me to get dinner, to get away from the craziness of the day’s events.  Subsequently leaving my mother and sister to deal with their issues.  After the fact, we laughed about it but at the time the day never seemed to end.

The moral of this story is to never think that things couldn’t get worse. Just when you think it is over, something else happens beyond your control. If I had just swatted the wasp before casually leaving for my day, the day would have been just like any other day.  One oversight or lack of action completely changed the trajectory of the day.

 

References:

Cite Wasp nest: https://sosparklydesign.com/2014/05/16/wasp-nest/

Armadillo Cite: cutefunnyanimalz.blogspot.com/2013/12/funny-armadillo-new-great-photography.html

Snake and bird Cite: https://phys.org/news/2016-01-snake-hunting-secretary-birds-body-weight.html

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